Sunday, March 20, 2011
Can I be honest and say that life it a little overwhelming lately? It isn't even because I am so busy...that was my before life. I have taken great strides to cut out what I don't need to do. I found myself doing things just because I felt guilty if I didn't. You see, I am one of the types that thinks I have to "do" in order to make God be OK with me. This past summer and fall, God taught that 1. I can never "do" enough and 2. He's good with me just as I am. Wow!!!! How freeing!!! It was such a huge message for me to accept and take in. I still fight that old self that says "you should be doing more at the church" or "you should be in prayer/bible study more" It was one of the first times in my life that I felt like I could breathe and be free.
The old self though rears its ugly head every now and then. Four kids, house, and work are enough to keep me busy. We just have had a few extra stresses lately and well, I am not handling it well. I can tell because I want to have a Dr. Pepper all the time. That may seem crazy, but it is my addiction. When life gets stressful have a DP and then it seems manageable. Whoa!!! Hold the phone. DP shouldn't be what I turn to. Jesus should. So I have been trying to cut back and cut it out of my life. Yet, here I am with my crazy life. (not too crazy, but crazy circumstances) I feel like God is big enough to take care of it, but somehow my mind and heart haven't come together on this.
Pray that I will depend on God instead of my DP or any other "thing". I want to love him with my whole person and not part.