Avoider

I often time will avoid blogging. There are multiple reasons for this, but the biggest being that I don't really feel like what I have to say is worth reading or that people even want to read what I have to say....

Yes, I admit, I am a people pleaser. Have been most of my life. It is something that I am working on overcoming, but it rears its head every now and then and almost cripples my ability to see worth and value in me.

God has been working with me on this one though. You see, He thinks I am of extreme worth to Him. So much so that He was willing to suffer and die in my place. There aren't many people (really anyone) who is up for that. The fact that he died allows me to get something I don't even deserve or comprehend, a life full of love and hope.

Love, the God kind is amazing and incomprehensible. This last week I had to be reminded of this love. It isn't an ordinary love or a love we see in movies. It is a loves that outlasts time, wrongs, and forgives all the time. What?!? ALL THE TIME and it forgets about the what was done.

He loves with an everlasting love.

So what happens when I forget.....

I start to compare myself to others...

I become discontent with what I have....

I get in a funk...

I don't love others because I am not connected to the source of love...

All my junk comes pouring out....

It isn't pretty and definitely not my best self.

Lord, forgive me the times I put myself first and begin to not see how you love me even in my cracked and broken self. Help me to keep my eyes set on you, the one who gives me love, strength, and hope. Thank you for never leaving me or abandoning me. Your daughter, who is walking in your grace, me.