Sunday, May 1, 2011

Marriage Mondays in May

Marriage is on my brain because this past weekend my husband and I participated in a mini-marriage retreat with some people who have been walking with us in the journey. Our 11th wedding anniversary is this month too. I also love alliteration so why not make Mondays this month dedicated to marriage.

Marriage is hard! (can I get an Amen!) So it is good every once in awhile to reflect on why you chose to enter that sacred union in the first place. This last weekend that was one of the activities we had to do and one of the most meaningful for me. We had to write a letter to our spouse to describe what we loved about them when we first met them, and what were the qualities that attracted us to them in the first place. Adam and I have been married long enough and had enough life happen (i.e. 4 boys, job, school, moves, etc.) to allow the fondness of those memories to fade. I was reminded of those things that drew me to my husband and now they often times are the very things that drive me nuts. Yet, I love that he is the way he is. I told him that he gives me a more complete picture of who God is and how God loves people. You see, Adam and I are opposites. I am sure people thought how are they going to make it work, but as the years have gone by I realize that we need each other to provide balance in our relationship with each other and the world around us. We are the two sides of a coin which means together we are perfect. (not really, we are human after all)

What has caused us to survive these years and the hard places we have come through is the commitment we have to one another. Very early on we were told some days would be wow days and others would be vow days. I praise God that over the years they are becoming more WOW! days. Again, this is not easy and I am still learning how to die to myself and serve my husband as Christ served the church. I mean, that it was marriage is supposed to represent, the intimate covenant that Christ has with us, his Church.

I want to encourage you that if you are struggling, if your marriage has not turned out the way it was supposed to, there is hope. Hope comes from trusting God with your spouse, with turning to Jesus to meet the unmet needs. It comes from confiding in other couples who are making it. It comes from each spouse dying to their wants and desires, considered each other better than themselves. Is it easy? No, but so worth it.

I can't help but laugh at myself...Friday's post was very hopeless and today's post is hopeful. I am a fickle girl or God has given me some hope to carry me through. I am thankful that hopeless days don't last too long.

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